The Pump Room

A Bath institution, next door to the Roman Baths. Had only been here once before so decided to go again for a mother's day treat. Unfortunately, it being mothering sunday, the menu was a 'special' one, and consisted mainly of roast dinners. For the two course deal I had a main of roast pork followed by a pear and ginger crumble. The pork was very nice, on a bed of mashed something or other, and the roasted vegetables were excellent, but the meat was only lukewarm! And the crackling was tooth-enamel-tough. A bit disappointing. And the crumble didn't crumble at all, in fact it was like a Mr Kipling individual fruit pie, on a slightly grander scale, the crumbly top having solidified into a tough crust. The waiter was a witty chap, a French fellow with a shaved head, who kept us amused. 'I could come back in two hours', he said, after we hesitated over our choices. Then there was the pianist. They always have live classical music at this place, but it is the classical equivalent of nightclub deafening, and this slinky geezer at the keyboard with his byronic hair and his bow tie and tails could only trill and glissando like a poor man's Richard Clayderman, but we did enjoy his finale of a medley of tunes including the Muppet Show and West Side Story. Or my 9 year old daughter did, anyway. It was nice when he shut up and let us talk. The surroundings are the best thing about the pump room, and then you can watch, through the window, street performers on very high monocycles hold flaming torches between their arse cheeks. In fact the food is quite a distraction.